Most women dream of the day they will attract the man of their dreams. Many describe a man who is “tall, dark, handsome, (preferably) rich, sensitive, loves kids, has an advanced degree and loves his mom.” I’ve described this same man, listened to my friends describe men of similar ilk and pondered, plotted and schemed about how to meet this mystery man. Here, after watching (and experiencing) numerous disappointments on the dating scene, are my top tips for attracting the man of your dreams:
1. Be Indifferent
Men hate desperate women. The only thing they hate more than desperate women are those who are only attracted to them because they embody the above-mentioned traits. Men find women attractive who are not only unimpressed with their wealth and good looks, but treat them as if they are just some average Joe. Men love a challenge. Don’t you dare let them tell you anything different. Sure, let them have your number and even be nice to them, but just because they call doesn’t mean you have to always be available. Don’t play hard to get, be hard to get.
2. Be Fabulous
When you finally allow your mystery man the pleasure of your company, be fabulous. Be well-dressed, polite, polished, erudite and sophisticated. You don’t need anyone to save you, for heaven’s sake, you need someone to appreciate all that you are. Do you think a man is more likely to appreciate you if you are dressed in yesterday’s sweats or if you are dressed in today’s fabulously attractive evening gown, the perfect pair of jeans or the best accessories you can afford? You don’t have to make a lot of money, but you should look like you are well worth every penny you spent.
3. Be Mysterious
Don’t tell him every little thing about you on the first date or on the first two to three dates. As a matter of fact, you never need to tell him everything. Believe me, he is not interested in why or how your ex-boyfriend mistreated you, how much you hate your co-worker or the digestive problems of your precious Feefee. He is interested in you. In the adventure of knowing you. In the excitement of uncovering you (figuratively of course) all for himself. You can and should confide in him as time goes by, but for heaven’s sake, let some time go by before you start revealing your deepest secrets.
4. Be Open
Having said the previous about being mysterious, you still want to be as open and honest about who you are and what you stand for. A man usually wants to know you have an opinion (though he’s not always interested in you sharing it with him). Most men have a lot of respect for women who know their own minds and I’m sure you know yours. Know when to speak and when to let his remarks roll right over you. Everything he says does not merit a lengthy response when a simple yes or no will do. You should never, however, lie to your dream guy or mislead him about some significant event in your life. For example, if he asks you if you have ever been married, it’s okay to say yes, but it’s not okay to immediately give him the details of your last three failed unions. He’ll find that out soon enough if he sticks around long enough to get to know you.
5. Be Yourself
It’s important as you get to know this man that you are not a carbon-copy of Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie or Michelle Pfieffer. You are you – wonderful, unique, incredible you. And if that’s not good enough for him, then he is not good enough for you. Believe me, you don’t want to start the relationship being someone else, because then you’ll have to live up to it at a later time. By being yourself and fully unique, you’ll present him with the opportunity to fully appreciate you for the person you truly are. You are worth it.
6. Smile often
The next time you’re talking to a guy you like, smile more often. Giggle at his jokes, smile now and then for no particular reason and bring that sparkle in your eyes. After all, when you’re happy, it shows. And no guy can resist a girl with a beautiful laugh!
7. Be coy and graceful
Through the ages, women have loved chivalrous men, and men have loved graceful, coy women. Now, there’s a big difference between being a shy timid girl and a girl who’s coy. Even to this day, guys love coy, graceful girls. So be that one. Twiddle your hair when you’re being thoughtful, have your own cute expressions, bat your twice instead of just once every time you close your eyes.
All these make you very lovable and aww-sho-cute! Learn to be a lady, and the guys will love to become your knight in shining armor.
8. Touch him
Men have always been drawn to the gentle, tender touch of a girl. Even scientific research has shown that guys involuntarily start showing more interest and flirt more with girls who touch them in the middle of a conversation. Occasionally, touch his forearm or place your palm on the edge of his shoulder, or any other place that would be appropriate for casual touches, and you’ll see how his interest in you would grow in no time.
9. Seek his protection
Throughout evolution, men have always been the hunters and the protectors while women have been the farmers and the foragers. When you rekindle this primal instinct in a guy, he would appreciate it and love it. Reach out and hold his arm while crossing the street, smile shyly and ask him if he can hold a heavy book for a minute, hold his hand as a big, scary dog comes near you, etc. You know the works, make him feel like your protector. And he’ll want to be by your side all the time.
10. Don’t badmouth or bitch
Girls who are use foul language all the time are quite a bit of a turn off for most guys. Now if you’re Debra Morgan, that’s a whole new story because she knows how to be vulnerable, cry and be strong and independent at the same time. But for all other girls, try to avoid using bad language all the time. Additionally, don’t bitch about other girls or speak nastily about coworkers and passersby when you’re walking on a street.
11. Be mischievous
There’s nothing better than a girl who can be shy and coy, and show off a streak of mischievousness now and then. It’s always nice to lighten things up now and then with a few pranks. You can tease him, nudge him by the shoulder, say a few jokes, or all of the above. Guys like a girl who is all sweet is cute and nice, but it can get pretty boring after a while. Show him your naughty side too.
12. Be polite
This is one of the qualities of a good natured, sweet girl that all guys want. If you want to know how to talk to a guy, keep this in mind. Be nice, good natured and polite. Mind your P’s and Q’s, and be nice, not just to him, but to the people around you. You can try to be pretentious and fake when you’re with him, but then, it’s not easy. Instead, learn to be a genuinely nice person and it’ll only make him want you more.
13. Appreciate him
If you use all the tips mentioned here, you’ll be a very likeable girl who’ll be desired by all guys. And the guy who likes you may try very hard to please you and impress you. And if some guy’s trying to make you feel nice, appreciate the gesture. Most girls take these things for granted, and over time, the guys will stop paying attention to them. Really now, if someone does something nice for you, don’t you think they deserve a thank you, or at least a smile? Never forget that.
14. Play hard to get
Always play hard to get if you want to make him like you. Knowing how to talk to a guy is easy, but knowing where to draw the line is not. Speak to guys in a pleasant manner, but never let them take you for granted. And don’t ever be easily available. That only makes them take you lightly.